You be the judge: should my boyfriend stop eating so much butter? - The Guardian

The prosecution: Pedro

I don’t get why Brits cook everything in butter. It really won’t help reduce Tom’s ‘lockdown belly’

My boyfriend, Tom, and I are always battling in the kitchen, especially when it comes to frying food. He’s British with Indian heritage, and I’m Spanish.

I prefer using olive oil to cook, whereas he uses butter. I don’t understand why Brits want to use butter on everything. One time, Tom even fried bread in butter in the pan. It was delicious, but it was like a heart attack on a plate.

In Spain, we use olive oil for dipping bread, to fry fish and meat, and generally to cook everything with. In the UK, butter seems to be more popular. In my opinion, it makes the food really heavy. Compared with olive oil, butter contains lots of cholesterol and saturated fat, so it’s bad for your heart.

Spain is the world’s largest olive oil producer, and there’s a reason why the Mediterranean diet is often called the best in the world. I come from northern Spain, near a place where a lot of people live to over 100. We walk a lot and we use olive oil in everything, and I reckon that’s the secret. I’ve noticed that in the UK olive oil seems to be used more seasonally: everyone drizzles it on salads in summer, but not to cook with year around.

Tom has been struggling to lose his “lockdown belly” – his words, not mine. He looks great, but cutting out butter would help him achieve his goals. He will literally fry a steak in butter on a Wednesday night. That’s too indulgent. He also uses butter to cook a vegetable stir-fry – that is blasphemy.

I think Tom’s addicted to the flavour of full-fat, salted butter. It’s kind of funny. When he has toast in the morning, I say, “Would you like some bread with your butter?”, because it’s absolutely slathered in it. When I catch him cooking our meals and he slices a huge knob of butter into a pan, I just sigh. Nothing can compare with the smell, taste and health benefits of extra virgin olive oil, so Tom should adjust to my way of doing things, especially if he wants to get serious about his health.

The defence: Tom

I’m not addicted to butter – I just like the taste. Olive oil just doesn’t have enough personality

There’s that famous Britney Spears moment in an interview, where she’s asked if her shopping habit “is an addiction”. And she says, “No, but it makes me happy”. That’s how I feel about butter. I could give it up, but I’m just used to the taste.

I grew up on a farm in the country and we bought our butter and milk fresh from a neighbour. I’m used to putting it on everything.

I realise that the taste of butter can be overpowering for some, but olive oil doesn’t have enough personality or flavour. Whereas if something has been cooked in butter, it feels rich and sumptuous. During winter, there’s nothing better than garlic butter greens to go with a nicely seasoned sirloin steak – real British cooking.

Pedro often jokes that British food is bad, but he actually loves everything I make. Butter isn’t particularly unhealthy unless it’s used in excess. Pedro will come over when I’m cooking, and make such a fuss. He will say: “Dios mio you’re going to give us a heart attack.” It’s all very dramatic.

Pedro is also a fantastic cook, but he’s a lot more health-conscious than me and doesn’t use as much spice and seasoning, other than garlic and parsley. Having a boyfriend from the Mediterranean has really highlighted how British and Indian I am when it comes to my cooking. I am really reliant on butter and also love using cayenne, ginger, turmeric and other spices that Pedro isn’t used to. We once had a row about how to season and fry a piece of fish. He didn’t want it as spicy, and he also wanted to fry it in olive oil.

I am fine with using olive oil when it is required – it is good in a salad. But for my everyday choice of fat, I prefer a nice salted butter. Nothing imparts flavour like it. Yes, I haven’t really lost the weight I put on in lockdown, but to be honest, I haven’t really tried. Pedro says butter is the problem but I don’t think it is. Pedro needs to be more open to cooking with a multitude of fats and flavours because I often compromise for him.

The jury of Guardian readers

Should Tom lay off the butter?

Butter does make everything taste better. Yes, olive oil has its time and place, but for delicious flavour, I’m with AA Milne: “I do like a little bit of butter to my bread!”
Janet, 57

My Punjabi roots beckon me towards butter, but an education in medicine tells me that Pedro is right about olive oil being healthier. Tom can still use butter once in a while, but he should compromise by not using it all the time.
Prabhnoor, 25

Yes! I’m of British heritage and use olive or rapeseed oil for cooking. I view butter as an occasional treat and only when it makes sense (butter for stir-fries?!) Also, try adding a little at the end – you get the buttery flavour using less of it.
Alex, 36

Both Tom and Pedro have ingrained tastes. I agree with Tom that butter is delicious, and with Pedro that olive oil is healthier. They both need to compromise a little – but really, Pedro needs to let a bit of butter into his life.
Martin, 62

Tom is not guilty, but both he and Pedro should compromise. Butter is delicious but so is olive oil, and both have their place in cooking. Share the cooking and alternate the fats. And loosen up, Pedro!
Dawn, 62

Now you be the judge

In our online poll, tell us: who is laying it on a bit thick?

The poll closes at 10am GMT on Thursday 4 January 2024

Last week’s result

We asked whether Matt should keep his phone on more

41% of you said yes – Matt is guilty

59% of you said no – Matt is innocent

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You be the judge: should my boyfriend stop eating so much butter? - The Guardian
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